Social Media and Digital Evidence in Divorce and Family Law

March 29, 2017
Louis Sternberg

Social Media and Divorce

In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives. From sharing personal milestones to staying connected with friends and family, platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter offer a space for self-expression and communication. Despite its ubiquitous nature, social media and divorce do not mesh and, in fact social media usage can significantly impact divorce proceedings, affecting everything from child custody arrangements to spousal support calculations. That seemingly innocent selfie from your vacation or that casual comment on a friend’s post could be used against you in court.

The Role of Social Media in Divorce Proceedings and Custody Cases

Social media can be a double-edged sword in divorce and custody cases as detailed in a recent Psychology Today article. On one hand, it offers a platform for support and connection. On the other hand, it can serve as a source of evidence that may be used against you in court. Posts, comments, and even private messages can be scrutinized and presented as evidence to challenge your claims or question your character. Therefore, it is crucial to approach social media with caution and strategic foresight. In that regard, it’s crucial to understand the permanence of the internet. Despite privacy settings and deletion attempts, information online often leaves a digital footprint. Screenshots, cached pages, and even “deleted” posts can be recovered, subpoenaed, and used as evidence in legal proceedings. Think of everything you post, comment, or share as potentially being viewed by a judge, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and perhaps even your children. This is not about paranoia; it’s about being realistic about the digital age we live in.

Social Media and Child Custody

Client will frequently ask “Can social media be used as evidence in divorce court?” or “can social media posts be used in custody court?” The answer to these questions is a resounding yes. Child custody cases are often the most contentious aspect of divorce. By law, custody and visitation is determined based on the best interests of the child, and social media activity can provide a window into a parent’s character and behavior. No matter how innocuous it may have seemed initially, even one unbecoming post can impact your child custody case. Here’s how your online actions can negatively impact your custody case:

  • Depicting Unstable or Inappropriate Behavior: Photos or videos of excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, or reckless behavior can paint a negative picture of your parenting abilities. Even seemingly harmless posts complaining about your ex-spouse or their family can be used to demonstrate a lack of respect and an inability to co-parent effectively. Public arguments or negative comments about your ex-spouse online can be particularly damaging, especially if children are exposed to them.
  • Violating Court Orders or Agreements: If a court order restricts your contact with your children or prohibits certain activities, violating those restrictions on social media can have serious consequences. For example, posting photos of your children when a court order prohibits it can be seen as a direct violation and could impact custody arrangements.
  • Exposing Children to Inappropriate Content: Sharing or liking inappropriate content, whether it be sexually suggestive material, violent imagery, or hate speech, can raise concerns about your judgment and the environment you’re creating for your children. Even if your children don’t directly see the content, the fact that you engage with it can be a red flag for a judge.
  • Creating a False Image: Ironically, trying too hard to portray a perfect life online can also backfire. Constantly posting pictures of lavish vacations or extravagant purchases while simultaneously claiming financial hardship in court can damage your credibility. Judges are savvy to curated online personas and will look beyond the surface to the underlying reality.

Financial Implications of Social Media in Divorce – From Assets to Alimony

Social media can also play a significant role in financial aspects of divorce, impacting property division, spousal support, and even child support calculations. Here are some ways your online activity can affect your financial outcome:

  • Hidden Assets: Bragging about a new purchase, a gambling win, or a secret investment on social media can expose assets you may have tried to hide from your spouse. Even seemingly innocuous posts can provide clues that lead to the discovery of hidden funds.
  • Inflated or Deflated Income: Your online presence can be used to verify your income and employment history. If you’re claiming a lower income in court, but your social media posts suggest a more lavish lifestyle, it can raise questions about your honesty and impact support calculations. Conversely, if you’re downplaying your success in an attempt to avoid paying support, your online activity could reveal the truth.
  • Luxury Items and Spending Habits: Pictures of expensive cars, jewelry, or frequent vacations can be used to demonstrate your spending habits and lifestyle. This can be relevant in determining spousal support, as courts often consider the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage. If you’re claiming you can’t afford to pay support, but your social media feed is filled with images of luxury purchases, it will undermine your argument.
  • Business Ownership and Value: Social media can provide insights into the value of a business you own, which is a crucial factor in property division. Posts about business deals, revenue, and expansion plans can be used to assess the true worth of the company.
  • Damaging Your Professional Reputation: Negative or unprofessional posts can damage your reputation, which can impact your earning potential and therefore affect spousal support calculations. Comments about your employer, colleagues, or clients can have serious repercussions.

Protecting Yourself and Your Social Media in Divorce

The best way to protect yourself during a divorce is to significantly limit your social media activity. Consider the following steps:

  • Pause or Delete Your Accounts: The most drastic, but safest, option is to temporarily deactivate or delete your social media accounts until the divorce is finalized. This removes the temptation to post anything that could be used against you.
  • Review Your Privacy Settings: Ensure your privacy settings are as restrictive as possible. However, remember that even “private” posts can be shared or screenshotted.
  • Think Before You Post: Before posting anything, ask yourself: “Could this be used against me in court?” If the answer is even remotely yes, don’t post it.
  • Be Mindful of Comments and Likes: Even liking or commenting on someone else’s post can be problematic. Avoid engaging in any online discussions that could be construed as negative or controversial.
  • Don’t Discuss Your Divorce Online: Never discuss your divorce, your ex-spouse, or your legal proceedings on social media. This includes venting about your frustrations or sharing details about your case.
  • Monitor Your Children’s Activity: Be aware of what your children are posting online. Their posts can also be relevant to custody cases, especially if they reveal information about your parenting or home environment.
  • Consult with Your Attorney: Discuss your social media usage with your attorney. They can provide specific advice based on your individual circumstances and the laws in your jurisdiction.

Potential Pitfalls of Social Media During Divorce

Failing to manage your social media during divorce can lead to several pitfalls:

  • Contradictory Evidence: Posts that contradict your claims, such as those related to income, lifestyle, or parenting, can be detrimental to your case.
  • Emotional Outbursts: Emotional posts can be used to question your stability or character.
  • Unintentional Admissions: Casual comments or jokes can be misconstrued as admissions of guilt or wrongdoing.


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Divorce in the Digital Age Demands Caution

In the age of social media, discretion is paramount, especially during a divorce. Your online activity can have significant legal and financial consequences. By understanding the potential risks and taking proactive steps to protect your privacy, you can minimize the negative impact of social media on your divorce proceedings. Remember, your digital footprint is permanent, and your online behavior matters. Don’t let a careless post cost you your children, your assets, or your peace of mind. When in doubt, err on the side of caution. Your future self will thank you.